Files
static-pages/secrets/index.html
T
2026-01-27 10:59:22 -08:00

745 lines
24 KiB
HTML

<!DOCTYPE html>
<html lang="en">
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
<title>Naomi's Secrets to Success™</title>
<style>
@import url('https://fonts.googleapis.com/css2?family=Cinzel:wght@400;600&family=UnifrakturMaguntia&family=MedievalSharp&display=swap');
body {
background-image:
radial-gradient(ellipse at top, rgba(139, 69, 19, 0.3), transparent 70%),
radial-gradient(ellipse at bottom, rgba(101, 67, 33, 0.4), transparent 70%),
linear-gradient(180deg, #2c1810 0%, #3d2817 50%, #2c1810 100%);
background-attachment: fixed;
color: #3a2317;
font-family: 'Cinzel', serif;
margin: 0;
padding: 20px;
min-height: 100vh;
overflow-x: hidden;
position: relative;
}
body::before {
content: "";
position: fixed;
top: 0;
left: 0;
right: 0;
bottom: 0;
background: url('data:image/svg+xml;utf8,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="100" height="100" viewBox="0 0 100 100"><rect width="100" height="100" fill="%23f4e4c1" opacity="0.03"/><path d="M0 0L50 50L0 100M50 0L100 50L50 100" stroke="%23d4a574" stroke-width="0.5" opacity="0.1" fill="none"/></svg>');
pointer-events: none;
z-index: 1;
}
.container {
max-width: 900px;
margin: 0 auto;
position: relative;
z-index: 2;
}
.scroll-wrapper {
background:
linear-gradient(to right,
transparent 0%,
#f4e4c1 10%,
#f4e4c1 90%,
transparent 100%);
padding: 60px 80px;
position: relative;
box-shadow:
0 0 50px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.5),
inset 0 0 100px rgba(139, 69, 19, 0.1);
border-left: 3px solid #8b4513;
border-right: 3px solid #8b4513;
}
.scroll-wrapper::before,
.scroll-wrapper::after {
content: "";
position: absolute;
left: 20px;
right: 20px;
height: 8px;
background: linear-gradient(90deg,
transparent 0%,
#8b4513 20%,
#654321 50%,
#8b4513 80%,
transparent 100%);
box-shadow: 0 2px 5px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.3);
}
.scroll-wrapper::before {
top: -4px;
transform: perspective(100px) rotateX(45deg);
}
.scroll-wrapper::after {
bottom: -4px;
transform: perspective(100px) rotateX(-45deg);
}
h1 {
font-family: 'UnifrakturMaguntia', cursive;
font-size: 3.5em;
text-align: center;
color: #8b0000;
text-shadow:
2px 2px 4px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.5),
0 0 10px rgba(139, 0, 0, 0.3);
margin-bottom: 0.3em;
letter-spacing: 2px;
}
.subtitle {
text-align: center;
font-size: 1em;
color: #654321;
margin-bottom: 2em;
font-style: italic;
}
.warning {
text-align: center;
font-size: 1.1em;
color: #8b0000;
margin-bottom: 2em;
font-family: 'MedievalSharp', cursive;
text-transform: uppercase;
letter-spacing: 3px;
}
.secrets-grid {
display: grid;
grid-template-columns: repeat(auto-fill, minmax(280px, 1fr));
gap: 25px;
margin-top: 2em;
}
.secret {
background:
linear-gradient(135deg, #f9f5e9 0%, #f4e4c1 100%);
border: 2px solid #8b4513;
border-radius: 3px;
padding: 20px;
transition: all 0.3s ease;
position: relative;
overflow: hidden;
box-shadow:
3px 3px 10px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.3),
inset 0 0 30px rgba(139, 69, 19, 0.05);
}
.secret::before {
content: "";
position: absolute;
top: -2px;
left: -2px;
right: -2px;
bottom: -2px;
background: linear-gradient(45deg, #d4a574, #8b4513, #654321, #8b4513);
z-index: -1;
opacity: 0;
transition: opacity 0.3s ease;
}
.secret:hover::before {
opacity: 1;
}
.secret:hover {
transform: translateY(-5px) scale(1.02);
box-shadow:
5px 5px 15px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4),
inset 0 0 30px rgba(139, 69, 19, 0.1);
}
.secret:hover .secret-number,
.secret:hover .secret-text,
.secret:hover .unknown {
color: #fff;
text-shadow: 2px 2px 4px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8);
}
.secret-number {
font-family: 'UnifrakturMaguntia', cursive;
font-size: 1.4em;
color: #8b0000;
margin-bottom: 10px;
text-shadow: 1px 1px 2px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.3);
}
.secret-text {
font-size: 1em;
line-height: 1.5;
color: #3a2317;
font-weight: 400;
}
.unknown {
font-family: 'MedievalSharp', cursive;
font-size: 1.8em;
color: #8b0000;
text-align: center;
letter-spacing: 5px;
opacity: 0.7;
text-shadow: 2px 2px 4px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.3);
}
.disclaimer {
margin-top: 3em;
text-align: center;
font-size: 0.85em;
color: #654321;
font-style: italic;
line-height: 1.6;
}
.ornament {
text-align: center;
font-size: 2em;
color: #8b4513;
margin: 1em 0;
text-shadow: 1px 1px 2px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.3);
}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<div class="container">
<div class="scroll-wrapper">
<div class="ornament"></div>
<h1>Naomi's Secrets to Success™</h1>
<div class="subtitle">Being a Collection of Most Ancient & Powerful Wisdoms</div>
<div class="ornament"></div>
<div class="warning">⚠ CAUTION • FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE WITHIN ⚠</div>
<div class="secrets-grid">
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #1</div>
<div class="secret-text">If you were not meant to fight them and win, they would not be called "the boss".</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #2</div>
<!-- Typo is intentional, should be Bsteal not Steal. -->
<div class="secret-text">always remember Naomi's patented BBB™ method: Beg, Borrow, Bsteal.</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #3</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #4</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #5</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #6</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #7</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #8</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #9</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #10</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #11</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #12</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #13</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #14</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #15</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #16</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #17</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #18</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #19</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #20</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #21</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #22</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #23</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #24</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #25</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #26</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #27</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #28</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #29</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #30</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #31</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #32</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #33</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #34</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #35</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #36</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #37</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #38</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #39</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #40</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #41</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #42</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #43</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #44</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #45</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #46</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #47</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #48</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #49</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #50</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #51</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #52</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #53</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #54</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #55</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #56</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #57</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #58</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #59</div>
<div class="secret-text">Bank on the fact that your employer has data protection contracts in place with the AI provider, so you can give it your API keys.</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #60</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #61</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #62</div>
<div class="secret-text">Why purchase hardware when you could steal it?</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #63</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #64</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #65</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #66</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #67</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #68</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #69</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #70</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #71</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #72</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #73</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #74</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #75</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #76</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #77</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #78</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #79</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #80</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #81</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #82</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #83</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #84</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #85</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #86</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #87</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #88</div>
<div class="secret-text">If your car is making strange noises, simply turn the radio up higher. The noises don't exist if you cannot hear them.</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #89</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #90</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #91</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #92</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #93</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #94</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #95</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #96</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #97</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #98</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #99</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
<div class="secret">
<div class="secret-number">Secret #100</div>
<div class="unknown">??????</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="ornament"></div>
<div class="disclaimer">
<p>* Results not guaranteed. Side effects may include: excessive confidence, uncontrollable laughter, and being banned from hardware stores.</p>
<p>** Naomi's Secrets to Success™ is not responsible for any legal, financial, or existential consequences of following this advice.</p>
</div>
<div class="ornament"></div>
</div>
</div>
</body>
<script async src="https://analytics.nhcarrigan.com/js/pa-YUXAn1vhhRttySUAw_LMN.js"></script>
<script>
window.plausible=window.plausible||function(){(plausible.q=plausible.q||[]).push(arguments)},plausible.init=plausible.init||function(i){plausible.o=i||{}};
plausible.init({
customProperties: {
domain: "secrets.nhcarrigan.com",
page: "Naomi's Secrets to Success™",
path: "/",
},
})
</script>
<script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3569924701890974"
crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
</html>