Cultivating a Remote Workspace
Most workplace allyship conversations focus on policy. This one doesn't. This is a practical, no-overhaul-required guide to the daily habits that make a measurable difference to LGBTQ+ colleagues in a distributed team.
Here's what's going on. If it doesn't affect you, it affects someone you know. Here's how you show up.
Start With Joy
Before anything else: we're here, and that's worth celebrating. Pride exists because queer people built joy in the face of things that were designed to erase them. That is not small. And celebrating that genuinely — not performatively — is one of the most powerful things any of us can do.
We spend 40+ hours a week at work. That is a genuinely enormous portion of our waking lives. Which means the workplace is one of the most important places we can make a real difference for queer people — not by overhauling policy, but by choosing differently in small moments, every day.
The Honest Context
The national conversation around LGBTQ+ rights has gotten quieter in recent years. That is not the same as things getting better. The discourse shifted. A lot is happening that doesn't make headlines the way it used to.
About 7.6% of US adults identify as LGBTQ+, according to Gallup's most recent data. In any company, that is statistically several of your colleagues. And even if you somehow don't work directly with a queer person, you almost certainly know one: a sibling, a child, a friend, a parent. The legislation being passed right now, the erasure that's happening — it doesn't stay abstract. It lands on a specific person that you care about.
This isn't a gay issue. It's a people issue. Which means this conversation is for all of us.
Five Things You Can Do
No policy overhaul required. No perfect ally credential. These are gifts you can give starting today. Think of them as small choices that compound.
1. Names and Pronouns — It's a Love Language
Use the correct name and pronouns. Get them right. If you mess up, correct yourself and keep moving — don't turn your mistake into a whole thing that makes the queer person comfort you about it. That shift of burden is the part that's exhausting.
Here's a concrete thing you can do right now: add your pronouns to your Slack display name. Go first. It takes about thirty seconds, and it makes space for everyone else to do the same. When leadership goes first, it signals that it's safe.
2. Curiosity Without Invasion
Curiosity is fine. Human, even. But there is a category of questions about queer people's bodies, medical histories, and what someone was "really born as" that you would never ask a straight or cis colleague. The same standard applies.
If you find yourself wondering about surgery, or transition, or someone's identity before you knew them — that's a question for Google, or a community resource, or a book. Not a person. The distinction is this: does this question serve them, or does it serve your curiosity?
3. Their Story Is Theirs
Being out to you does not mean being out to everyone. Someone trusting you with that information is not permission to share it. Not as gossip. Not as helpful context. Not even as a compliment. Not your story to give.
This matters more in distributed teams than people realise. A Slack message in the wrong channel, a comment on a call with people they don't know, a well-meaning mention in a one-on-one — all of these can out someone without any malicious intent. The rule is simple: unless they told you it's fine to share, it's not.
4. Be the One Who Says Something
Speak up when queer people aren't in the room. That's exactly when it matters most. The comment that would never get made in front of a queer colleague gets made because everyone assumes no one in the room cares. You can change that.
You don't have to deliver a perfect speech. You don't have to have the right words memorised. "I don't think [person] would love hearing that" is enough. That's the whole thing. This is the biggest gift on this list, and it costs nothing except a moment of choosing to say something instead of saying nothing.
5. Language Is a Welcome Mat
Job postings, internal docs, emails, Slack messages, all-hands announcements — the language we use by default shapes who feels like they belong. Gender-neutral language costs nothing and includes everyone.
- Use "they" as a default pronoun when you don't know someone's.
- Use "partner" when you don't know someone's relationship structure.
- Reconsider "guys" as a group term — "everyone," "folks," "team" all work.
None of this requires a policy change or a manager's sign-off. It's a choice, made in the moment, every time you write something.
Your Action List
This is intentionally short. All of it is doable.
- Right now: Add your pronouns to your Slack profile and Zoom name.
- This month: If you can donate to an LGBTQ+ charity or mutual aid fund, do it. Every dollar counts, and there's no shortage of organisations doing necessary work right now.
- This year: When you vote, think about the specific people in your life whose lives are literally on the ballot. Not abstractly. Specifically.
- Always: When something makes a queer colleague feel smaller — say something. You don't have to get it perfectly right. You just have to show up.
The Close
That's it. That's the whole talk. And I know it can feel like a lot when you list it out — but most of it comes down to one thing. Treating queer colleagues like their existence is normal and welcome. Because it is.
Every time you use someone's correct name, every time you speak up in a meeting, every time you add your pronouns to a profile — you're giving back energy that person would otherwise spend just trying to exist at work. That energy doesn't disappear. It goes somewhere much more interesting.
You are how we cultivate a remote workspace. Happy Pride. 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
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