Q: Why are your office hours 6:00 PM to 6:00 AM?
A: We operate globally. To best serve our international clients in Tokyo, London, and New York simultaneously, we have adopted a "nocturnal-first" workflow. Also, the sun is a deadly laser.
Q: Can we schedule a Zoom call with the CEO?
A: Ms. Carrigan prefers to utilize her proprietary motion-capture avatar for all video communications. This ensures high-fidelity transmission and prevents... lighting issues. She assures you she is not a cat, despite the avatar having ears.
Q: What forms of payment do you accept?
A: We accept Wire Transfer, Bitcoin, Ethereum, Gold Bullion, and verified antique art. We do not accept checks, and we are no longer accepting "First Born Children" (Amari complains about the babysitting).
Q: My problem involves a curse/haunting/ancient blood feud. Can you help?
A: Please refer to our "Legacy Code Refactoring" package.