---
title: De-escalation Techniques Training for Staff
---

**ESSENTIAL TRAINING FOR ALL MODERATION STAFF**

## 1. INTRODUCTION AND SCOPE

### 1.1. Purpose of This Training

This training document provides comprehensive guidance for Team members on de-escalation techniques for managing highly emotional, tense, or potentially volatile situations in online communities. Effective de-escalation prevents situations from escalating into conflicts, protects community members, and maintains safe, welcoming environments.

### 1.2. Integration with Existing Policies

This training operates within our comprehensive moderation and safety framework:

**(a)** **Conflict Resolution Policy**: Procedures for resolving disputes (de-escalation prevents escalation to conflicts);

**(b)** **Crisis Response Policy**: Procedures for responding to mental health crises (de-escalation is first response);

**(c)** **Harassment Response Policy**: Procedures for responding to harassment (de-escalation may prevent escalation);

**(d)** **Trauma-Informed Moderation Policy**: Principles for moderation that considers trauma (de-escalation avoids re-traumatization);

**(e)** **Content and Moderation Policy**: Enforcement procedures and content standards;

**(f)** **Staff Handbook**: General staff responsibilities and expectations.

### 1.3. Critical Understanding

**De-escalation Is Prevention:**
- De-escalation prevents situations from becoming conflicts or crises
- Early intervention is more effective than later intervention
- De-escalation protects community members and community safety
- Not all situations can or should be de-escalated
- De-escalation requires skill, practice, and self-awareness

**When De-escalation Is Appropriate:**
- Situations involving high emotions or tension
- Misunderstandings or miscommunications
- Situations that can be resolved through communication
- When parties are open to resolution
- When safety can be maintained through de-escalation

**When De-escalation May Not Be Appropriate:**
- Situations involving immediate safety threats
- Harassment or abuse that requires protective action
- Criminal activity that requires law enforcement
- When de-escalation attempts enable harm
- When parties are not open to resolution

## 2. UNDERSTANDING ESCALATION

### 2.1. What Is Escalation?

#### 2.1.1. Definition and Stages

**Escalation** is the process by which situations become more intense, serious, or dangerous. Escalation typically progresses through stages:

**Stage 1: Tension**
- Initial disagreement or concern
- Mild emotional responses
- Communication still possible
- Opportunity for easy resolution

**Stage 2: Agitation**
- Increased emotional responses
- Defensive communication
- Reduced listening and understanding
- Requires active intervention

**Stage 3: Aggression**
- Hostile communication
- Personal attacks or threats
- Limited rational communication
- Significant intervention required

**Stage 4: Crisis**
- Extreme emotional responses
- Threats or dangerous behaviour
- Safety concerns
- Immediate protective action required

#### 2.1.2. Escalation Triggers

**Common Triggers:**
- Feeling attacked or criticised
- Perceived injustice or unfairness
- Threats to identity or values
- Loss of control or agency
- Past trauma or negative experiences
- Power imbalances or authority
- Miscommunication or misunderstanding
- Stress or external pressures

**Online-Specific Triggers:**
- Public callouts or criticism
- Moderation actions or consequences
- Perceived favouritism or bias
- Privacy violations or doxxing
- Exclusion or ostracism
- Platform limitations or technical issues

### 2.2. Recognising Escalation Patterns

#### 2.2.1. Early Warning Signs

**Emotional Indicators:**
- Increased emotional language
- Stronger emotional reactions
- Defensive responses
- Reduced rational communication
- Escalating language intensity

**Behavioural Indicators:**
- Repeated messages or posts
- Tagging multiple people
- Moving to different platforms
- Recruiting others to support
- Threatening language or behaviour

**Communication Patterns:**
- Shift from issue-focused to person-focused
- Increase in personal attacks
- Reduction in listening or understanding
- Escalating demands or ultimatums
- Refusal to engage constructively

#### 2.2.2. Risk Assessment

**Low Risk:**
- Mild emotional responses
- Issue-focused communication
- Willingness to discuss and resolve
- No threats or safety concerns
- Open to de-escalation

**Moderate Risk:**
- Strong emotional responses
- Some personal elements
- Defensive communication
- Potential for escalation
- May require intervention

**High Risk:**
- Extreme emotional responses
- Threats or dangerous language
- Safety concerns
- Refusal to engage constructively
- May require protective action

## 3. DE-ESCALATION PRINCIPLES

### 3.1. Core Principles

#### 3.1.1. Safety First

**Physical and Psychological Safety:**
- Ensure safety of all parties
- Address immediate safety threats first
- Don't de-escalate at expense of safety
- Take protective action when needed
- Support community member safety

**Safety in De-escalation:**
- Maintain your own safety
- Don't put yourself in dangerous situations
- Recognise when de-escalation isn't appropriate
- Escalate to protective action when needed
- Support community member safety throughout

#### 3.1.2. Calm and Centred Presence

**Maintaining Calm:**
- Stay calm and composed yourself
- Don't match emotional intensity
- Breathe and ground yourself
- Maintain professional boundaries
- Model calm, respectful communication

**Centred Presence:**
- Be present and focused
- Listen actively and fully
- Avoid distractions or multitasking
- Show genuine care and concern
- Demonstrate stability and reliability

#### 3.1.3. Empathy and Understanding

**Showing Empathy:**
- Acknowledge feelings and experiences
- Validate concerns and perspectives
- Show understanding of their position
- Demonstrate care and concern
- Avoid dismissing or minimising

**Understanding Perspectives:**
- Try to understand their perspective
- Consider their experiences and context
- Recognise valid concerns
- Acknowledge their feelings
- Show respect for their position

#### 3.1.4. Non-Judgemental Approach

**Avoiding Judgement:**
- Don't judge their feelings or reactions
- Avoid labelling or categorising
- Don't assume intent or motivation
- Avoid blame or criticism
- Focus on understanding, not judging

**Open-Minded Approach:**
- Be open to different perspectives
- Consider multiple interpretations
- Avoid jumping to conclusions
- Stay curious and open
- Focus on resolution, not blame

### 3.2. Communication Principles

#### 3.2.1. Active Listening

**Listening Skills:**
- Give full attention to speaker
- Listen without interrupting
- Pay attention to emotions and tone
- Notice nonverbal cues when possible
- Clarify understanding through questions

**Reflective Listening:**
- Reflect back what you hear
- Paraphrase to confirm understanding
- Acknowledge emotions and feelings
- Summarise key points
- Validate their experience

#### 3.2.2. Clear and Respectful Communication

**Clear Communication:**
- Use clear, simple language
- Avoid jargon or technical terms
- Be direct and honest
- Provide clear information
- Ensure understanding

**Respectful Communication:**
- Use respectful language and tone
- Avoid inflammatory or triggering language
- Show respect for their position
- Maintain dignity and respect
- Avoid condescension or patronizing

## 4. DE-ESCALATION TECHNIQUES

### 4.1. Verbal De-escalation Techniques

#### 4.1.1. Language and Phrasing

**Supportive Language:**
- "I understand this is important to you"
- "I can see you're feeling [emotion]"
- "Help me understand your perspective"
- "What would help resolve this situation?"
- "I want to work together to find a solution"

**Language to Avoid:**
- "Calm down" or "Relax"
- "You're overreacting"
- "That's not a big deal"
- "You need to..."
- "You should..."

**Effective Phrasing:**
- Use "I" statements rather than "you" statements
- Ask open-ended questions
- Offer choices and options
- Focus on solutions, not problems
- Acknowledge and validate feelings

#### 4.1.2. Questioning Techniques

**Open-Ended Questions:**
- "Can you help me understand what happened?"
- "What would help resolve this for you?"
- "How can we work together on this?"
- "What are your concerns about this?"
- "What would you like to see happen?"

**Clarifying Questions:**
- "When you say [X], do you mean [Y]?"
- "Can you help me understand [specific point]?"
- "What specifically concerns you about this?"
- "What would make this better for you?"
- "What information would help?"

**Avoid Leading Questions:**
- Don't ask questions that assume answers
- Don't ask questions that imply blame
- Don't ask questions that escalate tension
- Don't ask questions that are actually statements
- Don't ask questions that are manipulative

### 4.2. Behavioural De-escalation Techniques

#### 4.2.1. Space and Time

**Providing Space:**
- Suggest taking a break
- Allow time to process and calm
- Don't pressure immediate response
- Respect need for space
- Offer to continue conversation later

**Time Management:**
- Don't rush the process
- Allow adequate time for de-escalation
- Be patient with the process
- Recognise that de-escalation takes time
- Don't force quick resolution

#### 4.2.2. Redirection and Refocusing

**Redirection Techniques:**
- Redirect from person to issue
- Redirect from past to present/future
- Redirect from blame to solutions
- Redirect from emotions to facts
- Redirect from problems to possibilities

**Refocusing Techniques:**
- Refocus on common goals
- Refocus on shared values
- Refocus on solutions
- Refocus on positive outcomes
- Refocus on moving forward

### 4.3. Emotional De-escalation Techniques

#### 4.3.1. Emotional Validation

**Validating Emotions:**
- Acknowledge their feelings
- Validate their emotional experience
- Show understanding of their emotions
- Don't dismiss or minimise feelings
- Recognise emotions as valid

**Validation Language:**
- "I can see you're feeling [emotion]"
- "It makes sense that you would feel [emotion]"
- "Your feelings are valid"
- "I understand why you might feel [emotion]"
- "It's understandable that you're feeling [emotion]"

#### 4.3.2. Emotional Regulation Support

**Supporting Regulation:**
- Model calm and regulation
- Provide stability and consistency
- Offer reassurance and support
- Create safe, predictable environment
- Support their self-regulation

**Regulation Techniques:**
- Suggest breathing exercises
- Recommend taking breaks
- Offer support and resources
- Provide calming information
- Support self-care and coping

## 5. PLATFORM-SPECIFIC DE-ESCALATION

### 5.1. Text-Based De-escalation

#### 5.1.1. Written Communication Challenges

**Challenges:**
- Lack of nonverbal cues
- Tone can be misinterpreted
- Emotions harder to convey
- Slower communication
- Limited context

**Strategies:**
- Use clear, explicit language
- Acknowledge limitations of text
- Ask clarifying questions
- Provide context and explanation
- Use emoji or tone indicators when helpful

#### 5.1.2. Text-Based Techniques

**Effective Text Communication:**
- Use clear, simple language
- Break complex messages into parts
- Provide context and explanation
- Ask questions to ensure understanding
- Summarise and confirm understanding

**Avoiding Escalation in Text:**
- Don't use all caps or excessive punctuation
- Avoid sarcasm or ambiguous language
- Don't send multiple rapid messages
- Avoid inflammatory or triggering language
- Take time to craft thoughtful responses

### 5.2. Voice and Video De-escalation

#### 5.2.1. Voice Communication

**Advantages:**
- Tone and inflection available
- Faster communication
- More personal connection
- Better emotional understanding
- More natural conversation flow

**Techniques:**
- Use calm, steady tone
- Speak slowly and clearly
- Pause to allow processing
- Use active listening skills
- Show empathy through tone

#### 5.2.2. Video Communication

**Advantages:**
- Full nonverbal communication
- Facial expressions visible
- Body language available
- Strongest personal connection
- Best emotional understanding

**Techniques:**
- Maintain calm, open body language
- Make appropriate eye contact
- Show empathy through expressions
- Use active listening skills
- Create safe, comfortable environment

## 6. DE-ESCALATION IN SPECIFIC SITUATIONS

### 6.1. Moderation Action De-escalation

#### 6.1.1. Responding to Moderation Reactions

**Common Reactions:**
- Anger or frustration about moderation
- Feeling unfairly treated
- Defensive responses
- Requests for explanation
- Appeals or challenges

**De-escalation Approach:**
- Acknowledge their feelings
- Provide clear explanation
- Listen to their concerns
- Address misunderstandings
- Offer resolution options

**Example Response:**
"I understand you're feeling frustrated about the moderation action. I'd like to explain why this action was taken and hear your perspective. Can we discuss this together?"

#### 6.1.2. Appeal and Challenge De-escalation

**When Users Appeal:**
- Listen to their appeal respectfully
- Review the situation fairly
- Explain your decision clearly
- Address their concerns
- Provide resolution options

**De-escalation Strategies:**
- Acknowledge their right to appeal
- Show you're taking their appeal seriously
- Provide clear process and timeline
- Address their concerns directly
- Offer fair resolution

### 6.2. Conflict De-escalation

**Reference to Comprehensive Conflict Resolution Training**: For detailed conflict resolution procedures, mediation techniques, and comprehensive conflict management guidance, see [Conflict Resolution Training](/staff/training/conflict-resolution). This section provides de-escalation techniques for conflicts; refer to the conflict resolution training document for complete conflict resolution processes.

#### 6.2.1. Interpersonal Conflicts

**De-escalating Conflicts:**
- Separate parties if needed
- Listen to each party separately
- Identify underlying issues
- Find common ground
- Facilitate resolution

**Techniques:**
- Acknowledge each party's perspective
- Validate their feelings
- Refocus on issues, not personalities
- Find shared interests or goals
- Facilitate collaborative solution

#### 6.2.2. Group Conflicts

**De-escalating Group Conflicts:**
- Address conflict early
- Identify key issues and parties
- Facilitate group discussion
- Find common ground
- Support collaborative resolution

**Techniques:**
- Create safe space for discussion
- Set ground rules for communication
- Facilitate respectful dialogue
- Focus on issues, not individuals
- Support group problem-solving

### 6.3. Crisis De-escalation

#### 6.3.1. Mental Health Crises

**De-escalating Mental Health Crises:**
- Prioritise safety
- Stay calm and supportive
- Listen and validate
- Provide resources and support
- Connect with appropriate help

**Important Considerations:**
- Don't attempt to provide therapy
- Focus on safety and support
- Connect with professional help
- Follow crisis response procedures
- Maintain appropriate boundaries

#### 6.3.2. Safety Crises

**De-escalating Safety Crises:**
- Prioritize immediate safety
- Take protective action when needed
- Don't de-escalate at expense of safety
- Connect with appropriate authorities
- Support community member safety

**When De-escalation Isn't Appropriate:**
- Immediate safety threats
- Criminal activity
- Severe harassment or abuse
- When de-escalation enables harm
- When protective action is required

## 7. LIMITATIONS AND BOUNDARIES

### 7.1. When De-escalation Isn't Appropriate

#### 7.1.1. Safety Concerns

**Immediate Safety Threats:**
- Threats of violence
- Doxxing or privacy violations
- Stalking behaviours
- Criminal activity
- Severe harassment or abuse

**Response:**
- Take immediate protective action
- Don't attempt de-escalation
- Escalate to appropriate authorities
- Support victim safety
- Follow safety protocols

#### 7.1.2. Unwillingness to Engage

**Signs of Unwillingness:**
- Refusal to engage constructively
- Continued escalation despite attempts
- Threats or ultimatums
- Manipulation or abuse
- Pattern of harmful behaviour

**Response:**
- Recognise limitations
- Don't continue ineffective de-escalation
- Take appropriate protective action
- Set clear boundaries
- Escalate as needed

### 7.2. Professional Boundaries

#### 7.2.1. Maintaining Boundaries

**Important Boundaries:**
- Don't take responsibility for others' emotions
- Don't enable harmful behaviour
- Maintain professional role
- Don't become emotionally enmeshed
- Set clear limits

**Boundary Setting:**
- Clearly communicate boundaries
- Enforce boundaries consistently
- Don't compromise boundaries for de-escalation
- Recognise when boundaries are crossed
- Take action when boundaries violated

#### 7.2.2. Self-Protection

**Protecting Yourself:**
- Maintain your own safety
- Don't put yourself in dangerous situations
- Recognise your limitations
- Seek support when needed
- Take breaks and practice self-care

**Recognising Limits:**
- Know when you're not effective
- Recognise when you need support
- Know when to escalate
- Understand your role and limitations
- Practice self-awareness

## 8. PRACTICAL APPLICATION

### 8.1. De-escalation Scenarios

#### 8.1.1. Scenario 1: Angry Response to Moderation

**Situation**: A community member is very angry about a moderation action, posting multiple angry messages and threatening to leave.

**De-escalation Steps:**
1. Acknowledge their feelings: "I can see you're feeling very upset about this."
2. Provide explanation: "Let me explain why this action was taken."
3. Listen to concerns: "I'd like to hear your perspective on this."
4. Address misunderstandings: "I think there may have been a misunderstanding."
5. Offer resolution: "How can we work together to resolve this?"

**Key Techniques:**
- Validate emotions
- Provide clear information
- Listen actively
- Address concerns directly
- Offer collaborative solution

#### 8.1.2. Scenario 2: Escalating Conflict

**Situation**: Two community members are in an escalating conflict, with personal attacks and threats.

**De-escalation Steps:**
1. Intervene early: "I'd like to help resolve this situation."
2. Separate if needed: "Let's pause and take a moment."
3. Acknowledge both perspectives: "I can see both of you have valid concerns."
4. Refocus on issues: "Let's focus on the issues, not personal attacks."
5. Facilitate resolution: "How can we find a solution that works for everyone?"

**Key Techniques:**
- Early intervention
- Separation when needed
- Validation of perspectives
- Refocusing on issues
- Facilitating resolution

### 8.2. Practice and Skill Development

#### 8.2.1. Regular Practice

**Practice Opportunities:**
- Role-play scenarios with colleagues
- Review past de-escalation attempts
- Practice techniques in low-stakes situations
- Seek feedback from colleagues
- Learn from successful de-escalations

**Skill Development:**
- Regular training and education
- Learning from case studies
- Practising techniques
- Building confidence
- Continuous improvement

#### 8.2.2. Reflection and Learning

**Reflection Practices:**
- Reflect on de-escalation attempts
- Identify what worked and what didn't
- Learn from mistakes
- Celebrate successes
- Continuously improve

**Learning from Experience:**
- Review successful de-escalations
- Analyse unsuccessful attempts
- Learn from colleagues' experiences
- Stay current with best practices
- Adapt and improve techniques

## 9. SELF-CARE AND SUPPORT

**Comprehensive Self-Care Resources**: For detailed self-care strategies, emotional support resources, and wellness practices, see [Self-Care Resources for Staff](/staff/self-care-resources). This section provides de-escalation-specific considerations; refer to the self-care resources document for comprehensive guidance.

### 9.1. De-escalation-Specific Self-Care Considerations

#### 9.1.1. Emotional Impact

**Additional Considerations for De-escalation Work:**
- De-escalation work can be emotionally demanding
- Exposure to high emotions can be draining
- Managing difficult situations can be stressful
- Balancing de-escalation with other responsibilities
- Recognising when you need support

**Self-Care Practices:**
- Take breaks between difficult de-escalation situations
- Practice grounding techniques when feeling overwhelmed
- Connect with colleagues for support and debriefing
- Maintain perspective on your role and limitations
- Access professional support when needed

### 9.2. Support Systems

**Team Support:**
- Regular debriefing with colleagues
- Sharing experiences and learning
- Supporting each other
- Celebrating successes
- Providing mutual aid

**Professional Support:**
- Access to counselling when needed
- Professional development opportunities
- Regular training and education
- Recognition and appreciation
- Workload management

### 9.3. Continuous Improvement

#### 9.3.1. Ongoing Learning

**Learning Practices:**
- Regular training and education
- Reading about de-escalation techniques
- Learning from case studies
- Practising techniques
- Seeking feedback and improvement

**Skill Development:**
- Building de-escalation skills
- Developing communication abilities
- Enhancing emotional intelligence
- Improving conflict resolution
- Strengthening support skills

## 10. PRACTICE SCENARIOS AND TRAINING EXERCISES

### 10.1. Scenario 1: Angry Response to Moderation

**Situation**: A community member is very angry about a moderation action you took. They're posting multiple angry messages, using strong language, and threatening to leave the community. Their messages are becoming increasingly emotional and personal.

**Your Response:**
1. What stage of escalation is this?
2. How do you maintain a calm and centred presence?
3. What de-escalation techniques do you use?
4. What language do you use in your response?
5. How do you acknowledge their feelings?
6. How do you facilitate resolution?

**Correct Answer**: This is agitation stage moving towards aggression. Stay calm, don't match emotional intensity, use supportive language ("I understand this is important to you"), acknowledge their feelings, provide clear explanation, listen actively, offer collaborative resolution, provide space if needed.

### 10.2. Scenario 2: Escalating Conflict Between Members

**Situation**: Two community members are in an escalating conflict. What started as a disagreement about a topic has become personal attacks, name-calling, and threats. The conflict is disrupting the community and other members are getting involved.

**Your Response:**
1. How do you intervene in this escalating conflict?
2. Do you separate the parties?
3. How do you acknowledge both perspectives?
4. How do you refocus from personal attacks to issues?
5. How do you facilitate resolution?
6. What follow-up is needed?

**Correct Answer**: Intervene early, separate parties if needed, acknowledge both perspectives and validate feelings, refocus from personal attacks to underlying issues, facilitate respectful discussion, find common ground, support collaborative resolution, monitor and follow up.

### 10.3. Scenario 3: Threats During Escalation

**Situation**: During a heated discussion, someone makes threats of violence. They're very emotional and seem to be escalating rapidly. The threats appear to be in response to feeling attacked or wronged.

**Your Response:**
1. Is de-escalation appropriate here?
2. What is your priority?
3. What actions do you take?
4. How do you balance de-escalation with safety?
5. When do you stop attempting de-escalation?

**Correct Answer**: Safety is priority. Threats of violence require immediate protective action, not de-escalation attempts. Take immediate protective measures, remove threatening content, protect potential targets, escalate to security coordinator, document everything, report to authorities if credible threat.

## 11. TRAINING REQUIREMENTS

This training document is part of the comprehensive mandatory training curriculum. For complete information about initial onboarding requirements, annual review requirements, training confirmation submission, and compliance policies, see [Mandatory Training Requirements](/staff/handbook#81-mandatory-training-requirements) in the Staff Handbook.

**Key Points:**
- This document must be reviewed during initial onboarding and annually thereafter
- Training confirmation must be submitted at [forms.nhcarrigan.com](https://forms.nhcarrigan.com)
- Failure to complete annual training review will result in dismissal from staff positions
- All training completions are documented in staff records for accountability, legal compliance, and quality assurance

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*This De-escalation Techniques Training document is part of our comprehensive staff development programme designed to prevent escalation and maintain safe, welcoming community environments. Effective de-escalation requires skill, practice, and self-awareness, and is an ongoing learning process. For questions about de-escalation techniques or to report training completion, please contact designated leadership through staff channels.*

